I'm actually supposed to be doing my TOD Journal which is currently only at 2 entries.
I'm so going to not have complete submissions man.
But i really did try to understand and write but there's too much struggles in them.
I don't get the point of the lecture and how am i going to even reflect on them.
Despite saying the above, i really do enjoy tod better this year.
It talks about stuffs which i can still relate to, for instance public spaces, us as a citizen, stuffs that relates to us and architecture.
I actually think alot, but all that was thought has already been written once in my head and i have difficulties trying to squeeze them out again in pen. Then so, what should i do.
I'm not good in my languages so that constitutes to my problem isn't it.
Okay my point was already totally unrelated to the above.
I wanted to pen this down that i think i really still want to be a psychologist.
I was beside my sister and she was studying for her psychology exams tomorrow.
Sometimes i really feel so proud of her, for fulfilling our dreams which i failed to.
Maybe i have the thinking that 'studying does not bring us anywhere' too deep in my mind that i didn't work hard enough for my O's. But i really regret. Regret alot for wasting my parent's money and going into this course which i only have minor interest in or in fact not much interest in as i was interested in interior design, not architecture. oh ya fucked up fact that i cannot stop emphasising.
And my biggest regret was to study something which i don't even have much interest in. Why didn't i just go work so at least i can save up money for my future. Why did i even come to this course.
I wish i could just wake up to the day when i graduate like seriously!!
And i am thinking now, if i should further my studies as a psychologist. But i hate studying, i really really do. Even studying psychology, i want to know and learn how human think and how to help them. I see no point knowing whatever history shit because end of it, when I'm consulting my patient, i wouldn't be telling them all the theory. okay whatever, i think I'm just stupid and immature in all my actions and thoughts. Fml.
Its like i think everyone is beautiful except myself.
Everyone have big dreams and all, but how many can actually make them real? i think it only happens in history, movie and in dreamland.
I'm still the optimistic me though, don't judge me by just what was written in my blog. haha because in reality, things are just different.
If i were to be reborn again, i wished i can remember whatever happened when i was young. i really envy people who remembered their childhood and their past. I wished i could share whatever happen to me when i was young but i can't and it's such a pity. I wished i remember how my sister looks like when she was born and how i look and judge people when i was young.
Typing this spend me half an hour. bye.
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